The Pick-Up Journey

I have this weird habit of taking breaks whenever I do something that was extremely out of my comfort zone (e.g. getting over approach anxieties, sending really direct texts, and walking around with cocky body language). I’ve noticed that my “breaks” have been getting gradually longer and longer. I’d like to say this isn’t an inner game issue of “Okay! I did that! Well, that was fun! We should definitely do it again… some other time” but that I’m legitimately getting busier as my summer progresses.

See here’s my “Getting Better With Women Plan”:

• Get a job to have enough money to enter 18+ clubs, get a new style, and attend some classes.
• Overcome the fear of going direct during day game when I am not with a wing man. (I’ve done it once so I know I can do it again).
• Go out at least 3 times a week and set up your missions accordingly.

The last bullet point is where I’ve been having trouble with lately. Ever since going direct I have picked up this attitude of “You’ve proved to yourself you’re confident! No need to do this again really. At least not for a while.” This is a flawed mindset. I guess I kinda pulled a mental muscle and I’m taking a few days out of the PUA gym to recover. Sure, I’m proud of myself for lifting a direct open without a wingman, but it was straining for me.

I don’t know if these are legitimate “excuses” or not, but I have been getting more and more busy. I’ve just got my job at a local, contemporary clothing store (which will do wonders for my style), my other job as a sign spinner is massively overwhelming, and I haven’t had enough money to buy admissions into any 18+ clubs lately.

I guess I can easily say that I’ve been trying to get more material parts of my life handled. I finally opened a checking/savings account at my local bank (which means I’ll have so much money by the end of the month). I’ve been working a lot on my vocal tonality and body language. Basically, I’ve been working on other parts of my life in this brief “break” period. Which I believe is overall good, but I still need to get those interactions in.

I was going to go do some direct approaches today at the local mall, but my car is out of gas due to driving all the way to a different city in order to work for my sign spinning job. I should be good though. Doing a direct approach alone for the first time is the hardest, after that, just like any other type of approach, it should get easy. Now that I have the most effective opener for day game at my disposal I’ll finally be able to start improving at pick up.

I’m going out tomorrow for sure!

I love soccer… and GO SPAIN!

I’ve un-officially took myself out of the game a couple weeks ago, sub-consciously or consciously and not quite sure why.  I only realized today that I still have alot of limiting beliefs inside me keeping myself from going farther than opening transitioning and closing.  I can open, and I can transition and I can number close, not 100% of the time but good enough for now.  What I have been hitting myself with is phone/text and 2nd day meetups, and staying congruent.

I’m going to say this here openly because the people that read this are my friends and if anybody else reads it I really don’t care, I feel as I just need a vent spot and if people want to read it, cool if not whatever.  I believe I took myself out of the game for various reasons; maybe I can hash them out here.

I’m pretty sure I still have a limiting belief about my looks, more specifically my weight and self image.  I’m “okay” with where I’m at now, but there is something inside of me that keeps bringing me back to the idea “why would a girl want to be with me if THIS is what I look like”.  More from examples of seeing other PUAs and even more from my past I realized that weight and looks are NOT a limiting factor in attractiveness.  I know this as a fact because of my past history with women.  This always intrigued me as I have usually have hooked up with hotter and more women then my better looking friends.  Still, my self image does affect me.  This belief has been a factor for me my entire life and I wonder if I’m just used to thinking that this is a limiting factor in my psychological abilities.  As long as I could tell I was the overweight kid, but there where times in my past where I fought that self-image and I achieved what I believe to be my peak form.  I worked out alot; at one time I was able to run 5 to 7 miles at a 9 min pace, not fast but not bad for a larger bloke.  I even ran a couple 5ks, and I ran a half marathon last year.  These accomplishments though seem nothing compared to my self-image, and when you’ve lived the life of a fatty it’s hard to change all the habits that form your fatty identity.  I understand the solution, eat right and exercise, simple to say difficult to continuously follow through for your entire life.  I’ve heard all the solutions.  So I’m not happy with this and it shows, I hired a personal trainer to switch up my workouts but that still doesn’t do it for me.  I really believe the one thing that is missing in my system is the ability to push through the “I don’t feel like it”, “I’m not in the mood”, “tomorrow”, “why work out it’s too much work”, “later”, “I’m tired”, “there’s no use”, negative talk in my head about my body type and just do it.  Has anybody else felt like this?  How did they push themselves even when it feels like everything in you does NOT want to go through with it?  I know that an exciting adventurous lifestyle attracts women, the conical “rock climbing, hang gliding, surfing, snowboarding, hiking” adventure man, and I really think I want to be that person, but more and more I find myself fighting against this.  I think in my head, until I am the hiking, snowboarding, rock-climbing, camping expert I can’t get a woman to hang out with.  WTH?!?  I don’t even go rock-climbing, or camping or hiking!  Because I don’t think I’m in good enough shape to do them…. Stupidest self defeating cycle I have ever caught myself in.

If that wasn’t a mind fuck then here goes another one.  One more limiting belief I still hold onto is the belief that I have nothing to offer a woman.  We’ve already covered the physical part so let’s go with financially and hobbies.  So I talk myself out of a situation so I don’t have to deal with the ultimate rejection of “I hope she doesn’t find out the truth about me.”  I’m slowly realizing that there is a truth that I’m afraid of and this truth might be the reason I’m stopping myself from continuing.  With people and with women socially.  As far as I’ve realized at the moment even though I’m on the surface successful and have a high paying job, I’m still not where I feel like I should be in life.  I’m not happy where I’m at the moment.  To get here I’ve had to accumulate alot of debt, and I’m not proud of it and I believe this debt is holding me back from achieving some of my other goals.  I am barely in the green when it comes to my monetary situation.  When you have a lot of debt it really changes the way you view and think about the world.  I view everything as a transaction, and I don’t have the freedom to spend what I don’t think are too extravagantly.  I put myself on this budget that is so incredibly hard to stick to that I often see myself blow it, which only sticks myself more and more into debt.  Issue is after I really budgeted my money I can’t seem to find any extra to have fun with, I often feel that I work simply to work with nothing else to have fun with.  This I understand is a construed view of reality, there are other people out there who have it WAY harder than me, but like I said this is MY limiting belief.  Sitting here and saying “there are people that are worse off than you, so stop complaining” doesn’t make a person feel better it makes them feel worse.

So there it is.  Probably the two biggest reasons why I think I consider myself a failure.  My self-image is comprised of my money/view of success and my looks.  That actually blows.  I don’t want my self-image or identity to be so closely connected to those two things, as they are so external to me and largely out of my control in the end.  So how does one accept these things about themselves and use them constructively?  In the end the money you make does not define who you are, but when you work at job 40 hours a week and it is all you think about, it starts to define you.  When that job drags you down and when that job no longer supports you then what do you do?  When you’re in debt you often feel you’re stuck and you can’t go anywhere else.

If there’s one thing to learn from PUA is the word ACCEPTANCE.  I’m learning to accept myself for everything, my limitations, my limiting beliefs, my successes, and my achievements.  Accepting yourself for what you are whatever that may be is harder than most people think but I do believe is vital if I want to continue to grow.

Alright enough with the rant, I can’t think anymore… I’ll make the next post more uplifting I promise.

I feel like I’m getting better and better at day game. Here’s a few things I’ve noticed about myself more and more:

• I’m a lot more easy-going about approaching. It’s no longer “THE APPROACH” which seems like a behemoth beast to be slain, but more so an approach: a casual encounter between humans.
• My body language is shifting into second nature. I’m no longer conscious of being relaxed, I am.
• My mindset is probably the most important change. I no longer care about the reaction. They can blow me out, they can laugh, they can do whatever. I’m still progressing, and it’s a factor that they have no control over.
• I’m happier. In the day time I go outside and I smile at people. I make little one liners. Today at a local frozen yogurt places I was just walking and this really cute cashier girl smiled and waved to me for NO REASON. The reason I didn’t open? I was with a day 2 at the time, but next time she’s working I’ll be sure to do it.

Weird thing was I was not aware of how well I’ve improved until I went out with FerrisBueller to get him started on day time game. In the beginning, I got my ritual water which is how I start off every day game session. Whenever I get AA my mouth dries so I have to get comfortable by taking a glass of water. Anyways, I found myself drinking water at the food court while sitting with FerrisBueller and talking about pick-up instead of DOING IT. It was stagnation at its finest, and I saw FerrisBueller and myself sinking into chode mode. I knew what I had to do. The first approach of the day was me going into Abercrombie and direct approaching a 10 hired gun (holy fucking mother shit). I’m talking hardcore 10: tall, blonde, perky, etc. I couldn’t believe I did it.

Me: Hey I just saw you from across the mall, and I had to come over here and say hi and that I think you’re cute. I’m Nick.

10: (smiles and laughs) I’m Kaylnn.

[handshake takes place. Social kino]

Me: Kaitlin?

10: (still laughing) No, Kaylnn.

Me: Kaylnn? So like Kaitlin but without the “T”?

10: Exactly.

Me: So Kaylnn is special because…?

10: Absolutely no reason.

[Now usually I would take that as an IOD and it was, she wasn't attracted enough to qualify herself to me. A part of me wanted to run home crying and thinking how unattractive I was and needy and blah blah blah. Yet the PUA in my head kinda whispered "Tease the answer."]

Me: Just working here then! That’s cool, so how’d you get the job?

[Here I threw a SMALLER qualification hoop and she took it. She started explaining how she got the job and she even started giving me content about her going to the local college university]

Me: That’s cool, I’m going there too, right now I’m just prepping at the community college to get my prerequisites out of the way.

10: Did you just graduate high school?

Me: Yes, shit I must be jail bait to you! [Disqualifier]

10: Well, almost [really subtle IOI that I did NOT pick up on because of the high intensity of this direct approach]

And at that I said goodbye and left to find Ferris. The situation for me was so intense and filled with adrenaline that I couldn’t even think about closing (a very bad sticking point of mine). I did it though, and it was probably the most successful day game set I’ve had yet not because of the outcome I was getting, but because of how long I stayed in there in THAT direct situation. I’m proud of myself.

The rest of the day went really well afterwards. It seemed that every set I opened responded very positive to me. I even manage to hook a girl who was walking and had her giving me the classic “hair toss” IOI at like 55 tosses per hour. I was in such a high state that I’M STILL IN STATE WRITING THIS 2 DAYS LATER.

Lately I’ve gone from reading and studying pick-up safely in my room to going out and approaching sets after sets day and night. The opening is still very troublesome for me. For some reason my openers are not working. I’ll get lame responses like “I don’t know,” “Buy me a drink,” and bullshit like that (for night game that is). This is all coming from the state of mind I am going in at. The limiting beliefs are starting to pop up left and right. I’m quickly realizing that I am no longer safe in my room anymore to fantasize about the amazing results I’ll be getting with women because of pick up. Now I’m actually doing it.

I know it all in my head somewhere. Opening involves good body language, great tonality, and the words are not as important as the delivery it is wrapped in. It’s getting myself to the point where I can do that that is the problem. There is definitely a lot of hard variables that take place when going into night game. Many obstacles. Many challenges. Mostly mental. As a matter of fact, you can probably go through your entire pick up journey knowing every single tactic in the book, but it’s getting over the mental blocks that are key. Mind over manner–as a good friend once said.

Tonight I went to an 18+ club to go support a rockstar friend of mine. I was told by my PUA coach to open any set just for a warm-up. I went in with an opinion opener and thought I had everything down, but nope for some reason the fish didn’t bite. One thing I’ve realized while playing this game is that I am not commanding enough. I need to start implementing a new rule: Command yourself into the set. Don’t take no for an answer. Even have a commanding tone.

“HEY, really quick, WHO’S the BIGGER perv: men or women?”

I wish there was an all around opener, but again this is improvement. And can I really just call this the opening? Really opening is just something to show the group you exist. That you’re in this party with them. Transitioning is the thing that’ll save yourself in a set.

Response to opener above: “I don’t know.”

My response: “Oh… alright thanks.” No transition. Chody as balls. Not impressive.

Retrospect response: “It’s funny you say that, usually when I ask girls that they’ll immediately say ‘guys.’ I didn’t catch your name?”

Would have been ten times better than what I did.

Day game approach is cake, however. As a matter of fact, I think I may have found the perfect opener for every day game cold approach situation. It goes like this: “Hey I noticed you from across the [x], and I would’ve been kicking myself if I didn’t say hi. I’m Nick.” It’s all in the direct. You won’t get a bad response. It’s situationally relevant.

The other day I ran down an escalator just to tell a couple of girls they were cute. They smiled really big.

Gaming has brought negative stuff about myself to the suface. After a day 2s and day gaming, I realized my biggest personality faults are that I’m not commanding enough, I don’t lead enough, I’m not assertive enough, and I’m not direct enough. Which has brought me to a new way of opening which I will implement soon (it’s all mind over matter). The new way works like this:

• I will COMMAND the open with ASSERTIVE tones. “Hey COME HERE” “Hey QUICK QUESTION”
• I will LEAD the opening by deciding how long we’ll stay on that topic, and the interaction in general. “That’s cool. IT’S FUNNY YOU SAID THAT my sister blah blah blah…”
• When all else fails, I will escalate and be DIRECT about it. “Give me your hand” “I want to dance, let’s go”

The only way around fear is through it.

Or as Shakespeare would say “Once more unto the breach dear friends.”

“Hey man, what number are you at?”

I walked into the small office plaza room with anticipation. The blinds hanging on the back of the door completely ruined my stealthy entrance. About ten men sitting in folding chairs turned to look at me. A short, barrel-chested man standing before the men stopped in mid-sentence, his hands floating in mid air in whatever gesture I had interrupted. He was dressed to kill with his shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, hair impeccably gelled, and expensive white leather loafers. We made brief eye contact and he continued with his lecture. As I slunk around the back of the room, I read what was being projected on the wall from a laptop whirring away in the background.

Familiar acronyms and ideas popped at me. DHV, kino, 3-Second rule. Settling into my folding chair, I merged into the group of guys intently listening on the short man who possessed a self-imposed messianic air with plenty of charisma to back it up.  Behind him, slouching in an identical chair, with one leg cocked straight out ending in a black pointed boot, was another stylish Lothario. This one was silently surveying the audience (myself included) with piercing eyes. I didn’t know what he was looking for, but I hoped that he would find it in me. The short man spoke in a heavy middle eastern accent, putting his fingertips together and slowly pacing the parquet. His shoes made a clunking sound that accentuated his words. He was speaking about the importance of transitioning a conversation when out of the corner of my eye, a flash of text caught my attention. For the next several minutes I read the subliminal messages appearing on the screen. “I am funny.” “Women are naturally attracted to me.”

After spending two years in a relationship that I didn’t really want, but settled for because I didn’t think I could do any better,  I became fed up with never getting the “hot” girls. I had my share of luck and considered myself excellent boyfriend material, but consistently found myself in multi-year relationships with less than desirable women. Determined to become one of those guys who had pussy dripping off their fingers, I had been studying the art of pick-up with my good friend, Nightmare, for about a year and a half before stumbling across this particular group. Up until that point my progress had been mostly academic. What I needed was a solid network of wingmen and mentors. The search led me to that tiny room in Mesa, Arizona one Monday night. The drive to that meeting was filled with all kinds of thoughts. More curious and determined than anxious, I tried not to build my hopes too high. “These guys could be lame,” I thought to myself as I pulled into the parking lot. “Or they could be fucking bad-ass PUAs and I’ll be the ‘new guy’.”  What I found, was a very diverse group of men dedicated to learning how to be more attractive to women. As I began mentally categorizing every person I met, I found my social buoyancy and left feeling anxious and excited for the field trip to a Scottsdale bar that following Friday. I was very curious to see the two instructors in set so I could assess their skills and determine if they were worth modeling.

Friday came and I convinced Nightmare to come along with me. After a brief talk about basic wingman rules, we walked into the bar and the game was on. The short man, Khaled, put his arms over our shoulders and picked out our first set. In we marched and the rest of the night was a blur. I walked out of the bar with three numbers, completely drained and listened to the sound of my own mental chatter. It was a long night and I was glad to finally sleep when I got home.

The following Monday, we discussed our field reports. Khaled and the silent man, Flash, praised my experience and within a week I was dubbed “assistant PUA trainer”. I was both proud and terrified of the status thrust upon me. Eventually the terror subsided and I came to grips with my role within the group. Existing in the halfway point between total AFC and super smooth PUA, I was designated as a signpost of progress for those guys newer to game. My nights out with the group were split between improving my own skills and coaching other guys. As my strengths and weaknesses revealed themselves to the group, a solid bond began forming. That time would be crystallized in my head as “the good times”, a golden era of bro-ness.

I quickly began forming relationships within the group. EpiK, Fabio Fantastico, and I formed a trio during a weekend seminar. We talked in-depth theory and meta-theory over pizza at Oregano’s. Jailbait and I formed a student/mentor relationship that has been one of the more satisfying friendships I’ve had in years. FerrisBueller’s memorable debut into the group really shed some insight onto my own progress and how I used to behave years ago. Other group members (whose names I won’t mention here) each presenting their own unique stories and abilities began the shifting of categories in my head. Pick up was not a lonely journey anymore. It had faces and names, voices and smiles.

I don’t know what the future holds, there are many opportunities (and disasters) looming on the horizon, but I do know one thing.

I am Primerib, and this is my Pick-Up Journey.

Went out with the other night. As Ferris said Tyler Durden of RSD was speaking last night and it was good inspiring shiz. That guy has so much knowledge to drop its not even funny. Jeffey made an appearance as well and what can I say that guy is crazy. He was telling stories of how he was just pulling girls left and right and closing them in his van.

Biggest thing that I learned is this:  “Just go for the close”  Screw the progression, just try.  The biggest thing is “just do it”, approach and fail, approach and succeed, but honestly JUST F-ING APPROACH!

One noteable memory:  As I was exiting the club there were some girls sitting down and one of them was humming.  I have a thing for chicks that look like ke$ha.

Me: “sup ke$ha”

Her: “ohhh no no no no, I’m way better than her…”

Me: “prove it, (snapping fingers to a beat so she can sing)”

Her: (singing, it actually sounded good, well from what i could tell it was loud outside)

Me: “not bad”

I then progressed and she kino’d me a little, and my buddy Big Money came over and started running set for a little while.  We’d been saying I was an actor all night and he was my producer so we played of that.  He got the number and I texted her later.   Instant response.  Pushed the negging too far I beleive and she turned into a snowflake.  Meh just another experience under my belt.

I made a rule later the next day:

NO PREMATURE EJECTULATION.  I have a tendency to leave set to early, no more seed planting I told myself I would try and stay in set longer and wait for the brushoff/nut kick/slap.  Gotta push yourself ya know?

Well the first week of summer has pretty much passed me by and I can honestly say I’ve learned more this past week than I learned in an entire semester in high school [at least about social dynamics and stuff you actually use in your day-to-day life]. It all started with my PUA instructor (although he’s still technically a “student”, but super advanced) taking me out to do some approaches during the day time. I was introduced to day game. I don’t know if this is due to my age or that I had this hidden, wound-up confidence within, but ever since the first few approaches, I can approach on the street without getting a hint of AA.

“The first approach is always the hardest; It’s like the first rep at a gym, you don’t want to do it, but it gets easier the more you do it.”

The ability to open is one of the biggest sticking points for most guys. I know that this has plagued me for the longest time. This isn’t a post dedicated to opening and day game though, it’s more about what’s been going on with my summer life, and how it’s a sad-yet-necessary growth.

I’m  setting fire to my old roots. High school social circles and lame friends are not gleaming with the potential they had at the beginning of high school; this is mostly due to my AFC ways back in the day. Despite trying time and time again to game the girls I have befriended in the first place, I have come to the hard-hitting realization that I wasn’t a student of game back then, and it’s a whole new ball-game getting a girl out of the friend zone and into the sex ladder. Especially if it is your one-itis.

Well, tossing your past connections into the fireplace is a lot easier said than done. Without having a solid network to text, party, and hang out with Summer Vacation begins to drag. Instead of those ideal summer romances and crazy stories you shared with your friends, you end up having hours upon hours in your room alone, to think. You’ll realize that instead of staring at someone smiling and laughing, you have been staring at a computer screen the whole time.

Pick up ebooks, torrented seminars, forums, newsletters, and even the old VH1 reality show have become habitual for me. It’s almost like I can’t go a day without watching Tyler Durden’s theory on how to get into state, or Juggler’s way to hold a conversation. I’m getting a lot of knowledge on good material, but does it even hold value when the implementation is absent?

Then there’s the time spent out of the home. When I’m not out applying for jobs, I’m day gaming. Hell, I even day game when I apply for jobs. So far I’ve gotten as far as “Hey, where can I find a good smoothie around here?” and then a few seconds of sputtering attempts to hook the target.

My best day game success was probably today when I was just passing by a guy who was sitting down on a bench and reading Chuck Palahniuk’s novel “Pygmy.” I passed by working on my alpha strut, noticed the book, and just threw in “Sick book, dude. You’ve read “Fight Club” right?” He immediately said yes and started telling me about what the book was about. He was hooked. I guess I’m good at picking up guys.

My PUA friend and somewhat-trainer said that you know you’ve hooked the set when if you leave they’ll feel bad that you left, or that they think you’re one of their friends now. He went on to say that if you bring value to them (and value is perceived differently from group to group) that you can achieve the strong hook. I brought value into that guys day when I said that he made a good decision reading “Pygmy” and then by talking about “Fight Club.” Now if only I can apply that to girls in everyday situations.

I digress, pick-up–for me–has become the only sport being played this summer. It’s good because I’m going to learn at a much accelerated rate. It sucks because I’ve got nothing going on other than pick-up now. I’m at a place of scarcity and sometimes I get depressed over thinking about what I could have done in high school or what I could still do with a one-itis. I can’t wait until this stuff starts gaining momentum, and I go out to the 18+ clubs and get into that environment. I can’t wait for our group to hold the day game seminar which will be a complete fun and educational experience. I can’t wait for pick up to gain some huge value in my life so I can make that transition from seeing this as an ebook-only world to a real life phenomenon.

Weird mood today.  Just got done watching the Jeffey Show, a video series by an amazing PUA.  Two things hit a chord with me in that program.  He talks about alcohol and discipline.  So to emulate Jeffey and see for myself I decided to go out SOLO and without a DRINK in my system.  So I made a rule to myself, I wouldn’t have a drink until I was “on”.  Holy crap.  Found out alot about myself REAL quick.  My game was linked to my craziness when I’ve been drinking.  I was in my head like crazy all night, kept bouncing from spot to spot, but I had some  success!

I didn’t have any canned openers memorized, luckily there were cops blocking off a street in front of one of the clubs I wanted to go to, so I was able to open with:   “holy crap did you guys see the cops outside?”  or “You guys know what happened?” the second one resulted in a nice convo because the girls kept re-initiating conversation when I stopped talking.  Another success came when I used “You guys look cool, are you friendly?”  Got a hook and we started talking about how hard she could bite me.  Those where good cause when I approached it totally looked non-threatening, and not like a pickup.

I noticed some thing about my energy level, compared to the majority of the people it was definitely 2 or 3 levels lower.  Most likely because of the lack of redbull and vodka running through my veins.

I’m really happy I did this.  I needed to go out solo and sober.  Now I know what it feels like.  I go out and do stuff by myself like watch movies and other stuff, but honestly going to a bar by myself is a totally new experience for me.  There isn’t anyone there to get your back, there isn’t anyone there to rely on to keep conversation gonig, it’s just me and only me.  I liked it.  I can’t wait till I get good at this.

As of right now, I’m coming from a place of scarcity. Not just with women either, but male friends as well. It terrified me thinking of a life with no more hangouts, or parties, or anything like that after high school, and so I set out for a way to socialize better than I did before in a way that’ll bring more women and friends into my life.

My last day of high school was on Friday, and I’m slowly realizing that I’m no longer attached to the people who have tied me down for the longest time. The reality that I’m free to do anything is still shocking and bitter sweet. I’ll never see the friends that treated me like a true friend because they’re all going out of state. I’ll never have the opportunity to game that one girl in my class, or befriend that guy who actually seemed really chill. I’ll never have that chance to impress all the people who thought I didn’t have a clue with women. It doesn’t matter though. High school is done, but it taught me hundreds of ways of what not to do.

There’s something in high school that I’ve always wanted to achieve that I see as being high in value. That’s developing a keen social intuition. I wanted to learn what to do in any given social situation (eg. hanging out with friends and a stranger comes up and says hi, hanging out with strangers, going to a party where you know no one, etc.) And that is exactly what I have been working on.

Being the youngster that I am, I am pretty much restricted only to day game. After taking a mini crash course with one of my good PUA friends I began realizing that day game is MAD FUN. The second I left my car, walked into the food court, and met my PUA friend eating a burrito, the adrenaline-induced approach anxiety kicked in. I was terrified and worried about bothering people. After about 10 minutes of seeing my friend open people, getting good reactions, and exit, I was “in state.”

Suddenly I was opening like a door. Boom here, boom there! It was ridiculous! An entire half of a year had me shackled to the approach anxiety, and suddenly in ten minutes I was hooked on day game.

After the mini-session I went over to a local store to turn in a job application that I filled out, and as I exited the building, feeling like I made a really good first impression on one of the employee managers, I see this girl (about an approaching the store I just exited. I opened her in less than three seconds.

So what do I owe a lot of my approach anxiety cure? First, my friend who made it a fun and playful learning experience. And second, this rule he recited to me about approaching. In this game your mind has a lot to do with your odds of success. When you’re thinking about opening your habitual mind will instantly start looking for a flaw in the girl (ex: “oh her hips aren’t big enough” “she has a weird face” “her hairs not wavy enough” etc.). Sure this girl could be incredibly hot, but you’ll look for a reason NOT to approach.

In binary code this doesn’t exist. Think of approaches in the form of 0’s and 1’s. 0 being a girl you would never get with. 1 being a cute girl. If it’s a 1, approach.

And, approach I did.